MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE

   My wife was trying to retire.  According to the Social Security web site, she was all done and set for her retirement to start in January.

She then found herself playing phone tag with a representative of Social Security for weeks.

Finally, after connecting, the representative required a marriage certificate in order to finish the process.

With the certificate in another state, my wife wanted to wait until we went back in a month to send it in, but the representative informed her that this is needed within the next two weeks or else she would have to apply all over again at the start.

   My wife took a day off of work, then we decided to tackle this together.

We went to the office clerk in the town we got married and paid for a legal marriage certificate.  We then went to a Social Security office, another 25 miles further.

We took a number and proceeded to wait.

After a time, our number was called.  My wife said to me, "you can stay here while I take care of it, I'll be back in a minute".

Overhearing the conversation, the clerk informed my wife that this certified, notarized document is no good.  She said that we need to have your husband call in to prove that he is married to you.

She said, "Dan, come over here!".

I approached the counter and answered the questions of the date we were married and the town we were married in.

Then I said, "would you like us to fight to prove that we are married?"

After that question, she did something on her computer and said, you are all set now, nothing else needed.

ANIMAL CONTROL

Our neighbor must think that she is Grizzly Adams's wife, as she feeds so many animals, including all wildlife.  Therefore, needless to say, there are several animals in and around this area, some, she cannot control.

I like to get the mail, and with our mailbox in front of her home, being totally blind, I use my blind guide cane to get me there.

Almost to the mailbox, I then heard my neighbor's voice, "Dan, watch out, there is a big raccoon coming towards you and he doesn't look good".

There was nothing I could do except get the mail and walk back.  Luckily, nothing happened.

But, I sought out the number for animal control and called it.

the voice that answered, "This is animal control, can I help you?"

I explained that I was blind and that there was a sick raccoon near my home and that it was coming toward me as I was outside my home getting my mail.

Now, the woman that responded said, "well, we can't do anything about it, that is not what we do".

I said, "are you kidding?", what can I do about this?"

She said, "I don't know, maybe you can call the police".

Then, having no choice, I called the police and explained the situation.  The officer informed me, "well, we usually don't handle this kind of situation, but, I can send an officer over later and he may be able to do something if he is a threat at the time".

I'm thinking, what is animal control for?  Do they have a 3 ring circus, demonstrating what animals can do?

DOMESTIC ABUSE

Sitting at my computer one evening, I heard a disturbance across the street.  In fact, a woman was screaming, "Please God, no!, over and over again.

I called my wife to hear this at the window and of course she said, "Oh my God, we have to call the police"

She immediately got her phone and called the local police department.

I heard her say, "I am calling to report domestic abuse across from my house, there is a woman screaming".

The voice came back and said, hang on and I'll transfer you.

Then I heard my wife repeat herself, ""I am calling to report domestic abuse across from my house, there is a woman screaming".

The voice told her, "what do you want me to do about it".

My wife said, "are you kidding?"

He said, "lady, this is an answering line for the deaf".

My wife said, "well, transfer me back to the other officer.

The voice said, "I don't know how to do that, sorry".

This is about the time that emergency vehicles were arriving anyway.

Next time it's "911".

 


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