DIANEISM’S

My beautiful wife

Her heart is real.  Her honesty is outstanding, attractive, and humorous

She is expressive straight from the heart

I am writing this about my wife because of every day, innocent, without script, spontaneous, communication is naturally funny

So, I call it, "DIANISM'S"

What's new?
ASSISI INSTITUTE
A temple of meditation to bring you stillness, silence and peace

This was Diane's second visit to the institute, this time bringing her girlfriend Carol.
They were to meet their friend Ann there at 10 AM, but they were running late.
Diane searched quickly for the correct room, with Carol, and finally found it as the group of 30 other women were already meditating with all eyes shut, and the facilitator guiding them.
Carol entered the room after removing her shoes. Diane took off her shoes and entered the room.
But reaching for her keys, to place into her purse, she pulled out the pin on the emergency personal alarm that has a rate of 140 screaming decibels.
With bare feet, Diane quickly ran out in the parking lot, in the pouring rain to finally get the pin back in.
Is this what you call "SHOCKRA MEDITATION"?

Because of my blindness, years ago I recieved a Florida non-drivers lisence because I can't drive very good being blind.
Anyway, as my non-drivers lisence was about to expire, Diane and I went to the DMV to get it renewed.
The place was crowded and we needed to go up to the counter to see the clerk to get a number for waiting
The clerk says, can I help you?
Diane quickly replied with, "My husband is here to renew his non-driver's lisence because he is drunk.
After a silence between all of us, Diane responded, "I don't mean he's drunk, but he is blind, he hasn't had a drink in over 35 years!"
Even being blind, I could feel the big smile on the guy's face.

The story I tell most often is when she and her girlfriend decided to skip school in junior high.

Debbie Leesi is her girlfriend's name.

Diane and Debbie decided that the school nurse needed to be called to inform her of the absence of the 2 girls.

So, Diane called the school and asked for the nurse.

When the nurse answered, Diane said, "I just called to let you know that Diane Laudico and Debbie Leesie won't be going to school today."

The nurse seemed suspicious at the nature of Diane's voice because the question back to Diane from the nurse was, "who is this calling?"

Diane then said, "This is my mother"

Note:  Our friend Bob Fuller was a music teacher at the time at that school 45 years earlier.  When we told him about the story, he recalled that it was the talk of the teacher's lounge that day.

New greeting card program.

I informed Diane that someone gave us a new greeting card program and proceeded to installed the 9 disks into the computer, with all the graphics and full installation.

Upon completion, I asked Diane to sit down and take a look.

She was browsing the program and decided to make a test card.

She was ready to print the card and found the print button.

We said, "Let’s see how it turns out".

The card started coming out and Diane was observing.

Then she said, "Dan, how come it's not coming out folded!"

Diane's birthday

On December 24, my beautiful wife's birthday, I wanted to take her out for her birthday, to the restaurant of her choice.

As she was tired, there was a really nice, classy restaurant a mile away, called the Garlock house, so we went to it for her birthday dinner.

There wasn't too many people there on Christmas Eve, and, upon entry, the hostess greeted us, and I said, "We are here for my wife's birthday".

She said, Wonderful, happy birthday".

"Let me get you our best seat in the house".

We had a wonderful dinner, and after the dinner, the waitress must have been informed by the hostess that it was Diane's birthday, because she brought out a very big, chocolate dessert, with a lit candle in it.

We both said thank you.

The waitress was reaching for dishes across our table when Diane asked the question, "Dan, would you eat me?"

Diane was as shocked as I was, and, even blind, I could feel the waitress's hesitation, as she heard the same words come out of her mouth.

Diane quickly recovered by saying, I meant to say, would you eat some of this with me?"

Good save sweetheart!

At the airport

Diane would rather drive over 1300 miles, then to take a plane trip with one layover in it.  She hates airports.

Probably because we had a 12 hour layover one time in Ohio, one of the reasons anyway.

So, on one of our few trips together, with a layover flight, with several bags and suitcases, we are rushing towards our connection.

Diane, doing her absolute best, totally responsible for this blind husband holding on to her, says:

"Dan, airports make me flighty"

Walmart parking lot

As a blind man, the biggest laugh I get is from my family over the years, as, once sighted, they remember me as sighted, and, as fate would have it, I don't look blind, unless you deal with me directly, and then realize it, but, over the years, my mother, brothers and sisters have left me standing in a store, going on their merry way, forgetting that I cannot see, and they then come back to get me.

But, walking out of Walmart one day, going sighted guide, towards the car, on Diane's arm, Diane walks me to the driver's side door, then proceeded to the passenger side and opened the door.

I was wondering, and I knew where I was, so I didn't say anything.

Then Diane blurted out, "Hey, you can't drive!"

Little does she know, that I CAN drive, just not very good.

Testing blindness

As my beautiful wife is always very supportive of me, and my blindness, she decided to put her pajama's on in the dark one night.

She went to put her top pajamas on with one arm in, then the other one, but she could not pop her head through.

Walking over to the light switch, then taking one arm out, she discovered that she was trying on the pajama bottoms on top.

Severe weather drill

Diane informed me of this one, showing me that she can laugh at herself.

She tells me that she works with a wonderful crew.  That there is total team work going on and great comradery.

Diane is a leader in herself, and is willing to learn.

Therefore, when her co-worker informed her that there is going to be a severe weather drill, Diane asked: "Do we need to go outside for that?"

CHINESE DINNER

We treated our neighbors to a Chinese dinner.  I got sesame chicken and Diane got happy family, with our neighbors getting what they wanted.

After we got home, we were both saying how full we are, and how much we both ate.  I informed her how much I love their sesame chicken, and she responded, yes, that was a lot of beef you ate!