Throughout my book, I have mentioned some “Angels and Teachers,” but there are a few more that influenced my life to help change it for the better—whether feeling blessed or being dragged through the experience to learn from it.
My Angel Sisters
My sisters Linda and Debbie and I were like a separate family from our four older brothers, under the same small roof in our little home.
I am the youngest boy and am the closest in age to Linda and Debbie. Even though I have vivid memories of my low self-esteem in my upbringing, I cannot imagine my life growing up without them.
I can clearly look back to see that these “two angels” were there for me with unconditional love and acceptance.
They looked up to me in such a loving way that I felt tight to both of them ever since I could remember.
As we played together, I always tried to protect them, no matter what we did. I tried to be the best “big brother” that I could be.
Little did they know how much God was using them in my life to help save me from my self-centeredness—not only then, but even now.
We did have fun growing up together. When I came home from picking cherries, they would make sandwiches for me and liked to serve me, as I seemed to represent the head of the family in our little trio.
God gave me these two little sisters as a spiritual gift, with His blessings, and both of them were always there for me unconditionally.
I felt like they kept me up from the deep, dark recesses of total depression.
In March of 1969, two Marine officers pulled into our driveway and brought the news of our brother Dicky’s death in Viet Nam.
I am so grateful to God for allowing me to be there for them when that news came that day.
What I wanted at that time was just to have my arms around them, to try to protect them from this powerless event in our lives, as the officers spoke to our parents.
Linda and Debbie were always there for me. They were a safe, loving relationship that I could count on, without turmoil or negative lifestyles.
I love them so much and always will. I thank God for them, as He perfectly placed them as my sisters in my life.
Paula Ireland, Ultimate Humility
I used a disability transportation service in central Florida to get back and forth to work, that was efficient and communicated well.
The overflow or extended system, outside of this service directly, were smaller private companies, which were hired to make sure that all patrons would make their destinations, even if overwhelmed by a growing population of disabled people.
The extended companies usually transported the less fortunate clients on Medicaid with more severe disabilities, with wheelchairs, dialysis dependents, and many other disabilities.
Paula Ireland rode on the extended transportation system, in a wheelchair, for regular dialysis treatments. She seemed to have this done at least twice a week.
For some reason, she was assigned to ride on the main vehicles with us that paid the bus fares, for a period of time, and that is how we met each other.
I have written about humility before, but Paula Ireland helped change my life.
Paula and I started chit chatting and got to know each other. I especially like people that respond with a laugh to my jokes, and she certainly did that.
Our conversations went on and on, as we enjoyed each other's company and we would give each other goodbye and have a good day as the driver lowered her down the ramp with her wheelchair.
In every conversation with her, she always gave me a boost to my day and left me in a better mood than before our ride started. It got to the point that we were happy to be together as we both found each other on the same bus. She would never talk about herself with me, or her situations, but just talking with her lifted me somehow, each time.
One day, I overheard her conversation with another rider. Paula was talking about how she passes the time while having the dialysis procedure, up to four hours for each session.
Then the next time we sat together, I asked her about what she goes through, due to her medical problems. Paula was honest with her responses as I asked every question.
I Come to find out that this woman, who was lifting me up on a regular basis, had scoliosis, a curvature of the spine that she was born with, and that she had used a wheelchair all of her life.
She also told me that her kidneys did not function, and that is why she had to have dialysis twice a week.
So, I asked, "So you have never been out of that wheelchair, upright on your feet?"
She said "no." I could tell that she sensed my concern and then said, "Dan, I am fine, truly. I have never known any other way."
Then went on to talk about something happy again, at least that is how I remembered the feeling.
I started asking about her daily routine, also, about her family was like. She told me how much of a struggle her mother was having because of taking care of her and being responsible for her all these years.
She also told me that her one brother took on a lot of responsibility for her needs with her disability.
Then we exchanged phone numbers as she told me that she and her family were struggling financially because her father had died and did not have any life insurance to leave the family, and that they were going to lose the home.
She told me that she did have a little independence with her wheelchair. She loved to go to the pond, not too far from her home to feed bread to the ducks.
That day, before she got off the bus, I went over and gave her a hug. I asked her to call me sometime if she wanted to. .
She thanked me for the hug, and we said goodbye. Then the driver lowered her down the ramp.
There was no complaining from Paula, no self-pity, no attension seeking, nothing negative. She was someone that I loved to interact with, with a wonderful spirit.
Paula's transportation situation was suddenly resolved, and she was placed back on the extended system, and we never met physically again.
I did get one phone call from her, after she wheeled herself down to the pond, to feed the ducks.
But this time, she did not have the means to lift me up. She was troubled over her family problems with what was to come, as I could hear that she was almost crying.
I tried the best I could to support her and informed her how she had touched and changed my life, and that I would pray for her.
We hung up the phone after I said to her, "Please call anytime.", However, she never called again.
Sometime later, my good friend Phil picked me up on the bus, to take me to work.
I asked him if he had seen Paula lately. He said that Paula died a couple of weeks ago. He said, "From what I heard, she didn't want to be a burden on her family, so she stopped her treatments and died."
I believe that there are no coincidences, and that God changed that bus schedule for a reason, as he has truly used this Angel, Paula, in my life.
Thank you, God, I will always remember Paula, a servant of tru humility.
Rest in peace Paula.
Alvin
I now believe that, if I ask God for something, like patience, he is not going to zap me with it automatically. I come to find out that he is going to give me opportunities to excersize it.
Alvin was in recovery when I first started in the program, but I really did not know that much about him.
By this time, most all members knew that there was a blind man in the group, and I humbled myself to announce that I was looking for rides to meetings.
Alvin came over to me, and he handed me a piece of paper and, in a low, gruff voice, he said, "Here is my phone number, call me if you need a ride." I said, "Thank you."
One week later, I gave Alvin a call, just to go to this same meeting.
Over the phone, I gave him my address. I heard his truck pull up to my sidewalk. I walked over to his truck, and I found the door handle, and climbed in.
I said, "Hi Alvin, how are you doing?"
He said, "Why don't you call somebody else for a ride?"
Well, I did not know if I was going to make it to the meeting safe or not. We went to the meeting, but I asked somebody else to take me home that night, and I never rode with him again.
Alvin would show up, it seemed, to every meeting that I attended.
When he would walk into the meeting, people would groan and cringe, because when he talked at the meetings, he would not talk about recovery.
He would talk about his neighbor's dog, and how he was going to get his gun to shoot it. Alvin would do this repeatedly; at every meeting he attended.
Obviously, Alvin had some anger issues, but everyone gave him unconditional love and acceptance, as to follow the spirit of our meetings.
Alvin died sober and is gone now, but I look back and see that God may have used this man in our lives to teach us tolerance and patience.
Thank you, Alvin, for being a part of my life. For I truly know what patience and tolerance mean now.
Brother-in-law
I had a problem with my brother-in-law, because, no matter where we were at, or what we were doing together as a family, it was all about him.
I love family gatherings, as we grew up that way. However, one of my sisters married a man that made me uncomfortable, just to be around him.
His behavior was like, the extreme opposite of humility.
In the AA program, that I was in, I learned how to give unconditional love and acceptance, but this man made it very difficult, to do that for him.
He has gone on with his life now, in a different direction, and I no longer need to deal with him.
Now, I can look back on this part of my life, to see a valuable lesson from God. For what I was looking at in him, is the part that I should ultimately let go of in my own life.
It was as if God had placed a mirror in front of me, to show me who I really was, in my "Previous Life".
I guess that is why it bothered me so much. I do realize that, at least, in my own life. I claim, “Spiritual progress†rather than, “Spiritual perfection.â€
I now ask God, to forgive him, and to guide his life for the better, as I realize that God may have just used him as a tool, to be one of my many teachers in life.