"Why don't you get a computer? I heard they can talk now," said one of my friends.
Ann also said to me, "Why don't we get a computer for the family?"
In conversations with my friend Freddie, he told me that he bought a computer from an online store for $1200.
That cost was overwhelming to me, but we bought one with a credit card and had it delivered. It was a big desktop, and the speed was an "8086."
Ann followed the instructions to hook it all up, and there it sat on a desk that no one knew what to do with.
I started telling people that we now had a computer.
My brother Bill had recently received one and had started to infiltrate it into his life, as he had made a career change.
I learned that there was a program called "Jaws," that could make our computer talk aloud.
I received the Jaws screen reader, which stands for "job access with speech," to guide the computer to talk.
However, in order for the computer to talk, there needed to be an additional piece of hardware added to the computer for the program Jaws to work.
I inquired, over the phone, about different resources for the best synthesizer to work on my computer.
Come to find out, I needed a “Dec talk.” This device was just as big as the computer itself, but it cost $1000.
We could not afford that, especially after buying the computer.
Then someone suggested that I contact the club that gives donations to the visually impaired, for help to buy it and informed me how to go about it.
I had a friend write a letter and propose to them what I wanted to do, and soon, the invitation to the Club was in the mail.
I was one of two recipients of the Club that day. They paid the whole $1000 for me to buy that “Dec talk” that I needed for the computer.
Bill had a friend who was in the printing business and was very computer-literate. His name was Brian. He told him about me having a computer, and the “Dec talk”, to make it speak, and asked Brian to see if he could get it talking for me.
Brian called me up and asked if he could come over and help me hook it up. I said, "Sure, if you want to."
He came over and even brought over a pizza for the whole family, and he hooked up the “Dec talk” and got it to the point of talking through the synthesizer.
I was so grateful to him, and asked him, "What do I owe you for doing this?" He said, "Nothing, this is my pleasure to be able to do this for you."
Brian was yet, “another angel”, in which God had planned for me, and placed into my path.
He left, and I was sitting at a desk, in front of a computer and synthesizer. The only thing I could do was to press the enter key on the keyboard, to hear the synthesizer say, "C colon backslash."
Well, that gets old after pressing about ten times.
I was sitting there, thinking, “This is bigger than me”. An actual tool that might give me some semblance of independence in my life of total blindness.
Growing up as I did, I only acquired a high school education, and I put extraordinarily little effort into it, getting out as soon as I could.
This computer was long before the Windows program, so I needed to learn how to use the DOS structure to operate the computer.
In addition, besides the technology, it was like learning for the first time for me.
Before our computer, I did learn the keyboard somewhat. I would play the cassette tapes and typed what I heard, but my nose was right near the keyboard to know where to place my fingers.
I had extraordinarily little vision at that point and went to total blindness shortly after that.
I had no idea how to work on the computer at this time. My brother Bill came over to see what Brian had accomplished.
Bill followed me into the office, and I proudly showed him what the computer said when I pressed the enter key.
He was impressed. He then sat down at our new computer and proceeded to press the keys. He was working on it for about 15 minutes, and then he was finally done.
He then instructed me to sit down at the computer and to type my name on the keyboard, then, when I was done, to press the enter key.
I placed my damaged eyes right down near the keyboard, to find the d, a, n keys and pressed enter. The speech synthesizer started talking rapidly. I did not understand it because I was not used to the voice yet, but it kept going on and on for about three minutes.
I found out later that he had made a simple batch file for DOS to read the whole screen of everything loaded on the computer. I sat there feeling dumbfounded, with my mouth hanging open.
I then asked Bill the big question.
Keep in mind that he and I had always had sibling rivalry with each other. I asked him. "How did you do that?" He said, "Never mind, you don't need to know."
Well, Bill will never know how much that answer helped me to grow independently. Because then, I really started digging in, hard.
I had a cassette tape for the Jaws booklet that came with it, so I started listening to the tutorial on how to use it.
We had a word processer and a printer installed on it. I went into the computer, Also Word Perfect, and it seemed overwhelming.
Nevertheless, the inner voice kept pushing me, to be as independent as possible.
I was talking with Bill on the phone about computers, and he informed me that he had email now. I was very curious about that, and I asked him how he acquired it.
He informed me how he did it, and then he took me down to the computer store in town that had the email server.
He took me into the building, and then I was able to start an email account with a company called Computer-Connection, even though no one had any idea if I could do email being a blind person.
Bill helped me get it configured, with technical assistance over the phone, after he had to install the 2400-baud modem to hook to the dial-in connection. I will never forget my first email, as it opened a, “whole new world”, for me.
It read a message from myself to me, and the subject was a test. I could not believe it! For now, I could communicate with people electronically, outside of my house, if I had their email addresses. It was an absolute miracle for me.
I started collecting email addresses, to communicate with anyone I could. I started sharing jokes and funny stories with friends and family. I also learned how to browse the internet on a web browser called Netscape.
I was able to learn how to turn the Jaws screen reader off and on, as Ann was getting interested in the computer for herself, and our children, when they were home. They were learning the computer and word processor in an entirely separate way, as the Jaws program does not use the mouse to work.
Ann and the kids started doing research and homework assignments once we got the printer.
The Learning Curve with the Computer
This time, the “Ten-year bondage,” is the primary time slot in which I had the most personal growth in learning my computer skills. I cannot help but feel that GOD may have designed it, and allowed it to happen, for me to gain this computer knowledge.
The many times that Ann took the kids, and left for the day, I was digging in hard, learning as much as I could.
Then the Windows program became available, and the company that had the Jaws program had announced that they had “Jaws for Windows.”
I was able to upgrade to both, which meant another learning curve. By this time, I was a regular member of AA. I had heard the AA member's stories, and now I was sharing my experience, strength, and hope with others.
One day, I sat down at the computer and decided to try sharing in a unique way.
By this time, we had an office program. I opened it, and proceeded to write out my story, to send it into the magazine affiliated with the A.A. program.
I wrote my story called: “Acceptance is easy when you don’t have a choice”.
I attained the address online where to send it to, and sent it in. About a month later, we received a response telling me that they approved my article, and would like to publish it. The article needed drastic editing, but they did it.
This event was so rewarding for me. To be able to express myself in such a healthy way, was beyond my wildest dreams.
Though my blindness is not easy, and while I was constantly fighting my fears of the future, somehow, GOD was now working in my life overall.
I came to believe that GOD is in control of everything and that he is giving me the hope, strength, and endurance, to live life his way, one day at a time.