(as penned by Tony A.)
1. We became isolated and afraid of people and authority
2. We became approval seekers and lost our identity in
3. We are frightened by angry people and any personal
4. We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or
find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick
5. We live life from the viewpoint of victims and are
attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.
6. We have and overdeveloped sense of responsibility and
it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this
enables us not to look too closely at our own faults, etc.
7. We get guilt feeling when we stand up for ourselves
instead of giving in to others.
8. We become addicted to excitement.
9. We confuse love and pity and tend to "love"
people we can "pity" and rescue.
10. We have “stuffed” our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have
lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much
11. We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.
12. We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and
will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience
painful abandonment feelings, which we received from living with sick people
who were never there emotionally for us.
13. Alcoholism is a family disease; and we became para-alcoholics took on
the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.