Chapter 19: My Soul mate, My Lover, My Wife

God has filled the emptiness that was deep in my soul with His presence. Though His blessings did not stop there, as His Word says, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” “I will make a helpmate for him.” Genesis 2:18. Without my interference, God has provided my soulmate, my best friend, my lover, and my wife. For I feel that God has brought us together by design because I cannot imagine having such a perfect mate as her through my own efforts.

With my acceptance of this gift from God, I have faith in knowing that He has provided this angel for me. The acceptance and love of my wife Diane embraces me and holds me tight. God has blessed our time together for over 25 years. My time with her has been beyond my wildest dreams.

When I think about the word “design,” I now think about God and what He has done in my life. I believe that love and trust go hand in hand, but outside of my family upbringing, I had never experienced it firsthand in an honorable and honest way. I had new social outlets since leaving the town of Walworth.

There were numerous friends that I had in AA, and then that count of friends multiplied with a seminar that I attended. I now knew that God was opening doors for me to walk through when I was ready. For He had blessed me with friends to talk to, to give me rides when I needed them, to interact with, and even help me.

My phone was busy with so many friends, but while I was talking to my friend Diane about my routine, she offered to take me grocery shopping sometime. I said, “Sure, thank you for offering.” We had known each other from the seminar we attended together, but by interacting with her, we both found out how much we had in common with our upbringings. Therefore, with a brand-new opportunity to trust someone, it did not take too long for me to trust her with my heart.

When we were interacting together, the way that she trusted me seemed like a brand-new experience. It was remarkable, as I had a deep respect for her and who she was. I appreciated the fact that, at this phase of my life, I could trust someone so deeply.

On our walks, I would tell her about my past and how I believed that God had saved me. I also believed that God had blessed me so much, even though I did not feel worthy. I felt like we were on the same level, as she would share the same with me. Our friendship became closer, and it was not too long before we became best friends. I had really felt that way since the day we met.

I appreciated her so much in my life, and I told her that. Time had passed as I was adjusting to my new home, and work was going well. I had other relationships with close friends that I did have trouble with when it came to feelings. Diane was there for me with unwavering and unconditional support.

While Diane and I were talking on the phone during one of my down days, she said, “Dan, I’m coming over, and we are going to take a ride.” In my trust for her, I accepted this offer. Again, she was there for me as we connected for the afternoon. We went to a park far away, and we sat to talk.

This is where the picture of me on the front cover of the book came from. I felt so comfortable and free to be myself. I was open with her again, sharing my heart with her. Suddenly, she said, “We need to leave now. I left the keys in the car.” Unbeknownst to me, she needed to leave because her feelings were changing toward me, and she could not express them yet.

On the way home, we looked for a place to eat. We stopped and had dinner together. Then, before she dropped me off at my apartment, she let me know what was going on with her feelings toward me. This was another shock to my system, as I had no idea that such a beautiful woman as her could have feelings for someone like me, and, on top of that, a blind man.

I did not know that the feelings she was dealing with had been going on for a while in her heart, and she had been dealing with them in her own way without my input. Well, that day changed everything in our relationship.

I went to God about it, as I was so confused over the path I was usually on in my own direction in life. I not only loved her as a best friend, but the feelings of love toward a soulmate were quickly coming into view. In one of the writings in the program I attended, there is a passage that says:

I had heard that repeatedly at meetings, but I had never imagined having that in my life, especially due to my blindness. God had brought me here to the point of being as independent as I could be spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically, and it felt good.

For the first time in my life, I was all right with myself and happy on my own. Therefore, I had no doubt that God had placed Diane in my life as a friend, for our souls and our trust for each other could not have matched any closer. I believe that God was pointing me in a direction that was new to me.

I am now sure that it was no coincidence that God brought Diane into my life for a purpose. Besides that, I cannot even imagine a better match than her as a mate and as my wife. I believe that God had this planned from the start.

It is like she has been with me all along, and my physical blindness is not a problem for her. I could not have planned a better lifelong mate for myself on my own. Besides Diane believing in God primarily, she also believes in me. This last part blows my mind.

I was truly living in a “whole new world.” Today, Diane is my wife, my lover, my best friend, and my soulmate. As this is so different for me, I truly do feel born again. I now have such a happy, fulfilling life with the wife of my dreams and a love that will last forever.